Most of the female coworkers in that environment you might describe as “Tom boys” – in conversations with many I found out that they grew up with a bunch of brothers, or their father always wanted a boy and tried to bring them up as one, or they came from a foreign land and were simply fighters to start with. All three apply to me, sadly.
Consider the words from the song “Fight Like a Girl” by Bomshel:
“I'll hold my head high
I'll never let this define
The light in my eyes
Love myself, give it hell
I'll take on this world”
I'll never let this define
The light in my eyes
Love myself, give it hell
I'll take on this world”
Seriously,
and I realize it is an inflammatory subject, there is a huge difference
between managing teams made up mostly of men versus those made up of women.
The
biggest difference, in my experience, is what supplies you keep in your office.
When dealing with “the boys” you may have a little fridge with beer for Friday’s “end of the day” discussions. You might even keep a car model on the
shelf to break the ice just as you might scatter a few car or airplane magazines
on your conference table.
When
managing “the girls” you absolutely need to have a supply of Kleenex tissues –
I found that you need them even if you offer praise, and you sure need them
when you want to offer a critique or expect to disagree on any topic. The
cultural differences between the genders are mind blowing in the work
environment.
Have
you ever been to a meeting that turned hostile? I have on several occasions,
and I’ve seen my female co-workers just storm out the door, eyes full of tears.
I’ve seen my male co-workers get red in the face and pound the table. I
have never seen a man, on the verge of crying, just leave a room. I have never
seen a woman get up, use profanity to make her point, and spill everyone’s
coffee by hitting the table with her fist!
Returning to the words of the song “Fight Like a Girl” I particularly like these lines:
Returning to the words of the song “Fight Like a Girl” I particularly like these lines:
Yes, I'll stand and be strong
No I'll never give up”
I will conquer with love
And I'll fight like a girl
When
it comes to assignments, tasks, and creative thinking both genders perform about
equally, in my experience. Expressing opinions, though, is another story. I don’t recall a male co-worker starting with “I may be wrong, and it is probably
a stupid idea…” and yet I have heard many smart women preceding their statement
with something similar. Also, my personal favorite, “I am sorry, but I have to
disagree!" A male would have said “I disagree, here is why, and you are wrong!”
As
I was writing this post Richard sent me an article he found in the Australian
paper, Business Review Weekly (BRW) , published March 6, 2013, “Brain game: Why women are better marketers than men”.
Here is a pointer: http://www.brw.com.au/p/marketing/brain_game_why_women_are_better_sU4I9zzbt1JyaZ9FM6whZI
I
found this paragraph to illustrate my point particularly well:
“We
all start out with a female brain, at least for the first eight weeks of our
pre-birth existence. It is only then that our genes and sex hormones take over.
In the case of boys, a huge surge in foetal testosterone in the womb results in
the destruction of cells in the communication centres of the brain and growth
in the sex and aggression centres. Devoid of this surge in male hormones, the
female brain continues to grow unaltered. The result is a brain far superior in
its ability to communicate and, crucially, understand others”
Now, Gentlemen, you understand why Richard is hiding behind the disguise as well!
Now, Gentlemen, you understand why Richard is hiding behind the disguise as well!
In
literature, films, and plays you see gender cultural differences. Likewise, even as women join the workforce at a rate greater than ever maybe it will change, but
today, as I am working in the world of nonprofit associations, I carry a
box of tissues whenever I expect to meet with my co-workers face-to-face. I
also work on dropping my training from the world of IT of being direct; just
the facts ma’am, and try to be more like a girl. I feel at times like I am
wearing a mask. I just want to get to the topic at hand and have it discussed,
and no, I am not wrong, and I disagree, %@#%&!
Lately I have been spending more time back in IT as I re-engage with friends and former colleagues. I am working once again in an area that really interests me and where I see great potential for NonStop participation. And I am going to be fighting a lot harder than ever before. Perhaps in closing it is the words from another song that resonate so clearly for me these days. From the Petra song, “Fight Like a Man”:
Lately I have been spending more time back in IT as I re-engage with friends and former colleagues. I am working once again in an area that really interests me and where I see great potential for NonStop participation. And I am going to be fighting a lot harder than ever before. Perhaps in closing it is the words from another song that resonate so clearly for me these days. From the Petra song, “Fight Like a Man”:
“Get
on your knees and fight like a man
You'll
pull down strongholds if you just believe you canYour enemy will tuck his tail and flee
Get on your knees and fight like a man”
No love mentioned here, is there?
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